Emma Rathbone and James Ord-Hume have no shortage of good things to say about each other. ‘I adore James,’ beams Emma. ‘We have great fun together. We have a very similar outlook on life and similar dreams.’
He is more than happy to return the compliment. ‘She’s absolutely great,’ he says. ‘It feels as if we’ve been together a lot longer than we have.’ Her ‘lovely legs’, meanwhile, only enhance her appeal.
Given that they’ve been married only six months, such effusiveness shouldn’t be a surprise. But James, 33, and Emma, 32, aren’t your typical newlyweds. They’d never so much as met before walking down the aisle.
Emma Rathbone and James Ord-Hume had never so much as met before walking down the aisle
Instead, they’d been matched by a panel of experts — including a social anthropologist and a psychologist — for the Channel 4 show Married At First Sight, a three-part series aired last month. It was billed as a ‘social experiment’ to see if science can help couples find lasting love.
Viewers might not have held out much hope for Emma and James who, following the ceremony, admitted they didn’t even fancy each other. After all, another couple to get hitched on the show — a pair who seemed instantly smitten at the altar — had split almost before the ink had dried on their marriage certificate.
A third couple — Sam McDonald and Jack Finn-Kelcey — didn’t even make it up the aisle because Sam pulled out.
But six months on, Emma and James are not only still together, but confident they’re in it for the long haul. There’s already talk of another wedding (technically a blessing) a few months down the line, and even babies.
‘There’s still lots of things to find out about each other, but I am very happy with how it’s all turned out,’ says Emma, an events manager.
‘James would have kids tomorrow if he could. He’s a big family man. I’m the one holding back. But in another year or so, well, one may come along. I’m excited about the future.’
Verdict: The couple agreed that they would not be getting divorced after the social experiment appeared to work for them
As is James, a university administrator. ‘We’re enjoying each other’s company and I think this marriage has got every chance,’ he says.
It’s certainly a rather unexpected turn of events. But then, as James admits, the whole process has been a surprise. ‘I was surprised I decided to take part, surprised I’d been chosen, surprised I was matched, surprised how well it has turned out,’ he says.
Given such low expectations, one has to ask what possessed them to take part at all. The answer seems to be a mixture of throw-caution-to-the-wind curiosity (him) and a measured desire to see if science could work where all else had failed (her).
‘I’d been online, I’d been on Tinder, I’d been speed dating. I’d tried them all and I was at the point where I was wondering what else I could do to make love happen,’ says Emma, a twin who has four older siblings and enjoyed a rural childhood in Cheshire.
‘When a friend sent me an article about the show, my mindset was: “What have I got to lose?” From the outset it felt as if there were more pros than cons.’
Viewers might not have held out much hope for Emma and James who, following the ceremony, admitted they didn’t even fancy each other
It wasn’t a view shared by many close to her. ‘Some friends were supportive, some said I was an idiot,’ she admits. ‘Initially it was a shock for most people.’
Not least her parents, Elizabeth and Roger, who run a plant and machinery firm.
‘Having that conversation with them was difficult as my dad is quite traditional,’ she says today.
‘Of course, it’s not what they expected. It’s not what anyone expects.’ (Her mother told the Mail last month that Emma’s father exclaimed ‘How stupid is that?’ when told the news.
James’s parents were more inclined to embrace the idea — or at least his mother was. Initially raised in North London by his father David, a builder, and French mother Claude before a few years in France following his parents’ divorce, he says his mum was excited when he told her about the show.
‘She thought it would be a mad, crazy adventure that might lead to grandchildren,’ he smiles.
‘Dad was more typically English old-school bloke. I told him in the pub and he said: “Not the way I’d go, but good luck to you.” ’
James was on a night out and ‘slightly pickled’ when he saw an advert on social media placed by the production company asking for applicants. ‘I remember thinking it was nuts, but at the same time I was intrigued and wanted to know more,’ he says.
Having sowed his wild oats in his 20s, the dawn of his 30s had brought with it a desire for commitment.
‘Ultimately, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to see whether someone with fresh eyes could do a better job,’ he says. ‘And the further on I got in the process the more interested I was.’
The couple were given little more than a month’s notice of their wedding, held at London’s Royal Society of Arts on February 21, yet both insist they didn’t have cold feet in the lead-up to the ceremony.
‘I was nervous, but I was also completely committed to doing it,’ says Emma.
For James, the nerves only kicked in on the day.
‘When I walked into the room where we were getting married, Emma’s family were on the front row and everyone’s head swivelled around to look at me. My mind went into a bit of a fog from that point on,’ he says.
Not all Emma’s family were there, however. Her father chose not to attend, though her mother and twin sister Katie were there.
‘My dad didn’t boycott the wedding — it wasn’t that extreme,’ says Emma. ‘If I’d insisted, he would have come, but I wasn’t going to do that. I told friends and family that all being well, there would be another wedding in a year or two.’
So how did the couple feel when they clapped eyes on each other for the first time?
‘My first thought was “Wow, she looks quite tall”, but she looked lovely and I liked the fact she wore a Fifties-style knee-length dress,’ says James. ‘It showed she had a bit of style to her.’
For Emma, it was just a relief to see that her intended didn’t have 12 heads. ‘I had wondered what would happen if I couldn’t stand the sight of him and at first I was so nervous I couldn’t look at him.
‘But he had a great smile and beautiful eyes. Then when I stood alongside him the first thing he said was: “Hey, stranger.” Everyone giggled and I thought: “He’s nice, he’s funny, I can do this.” ’
Both say they had an innate sense they wouldn’t smooch for the cameras, despite much egging on from the crowd. ‘We looked at each other and understood we weren’t going to do anything that didn’t feel natural,’ says James.
Emma puts it more bluntly. ‘I’d only just met him so I wasn’t going to snog his face off in the first few minutes. I wouldn’t do that to a man I just met on the street.’
Still married: Many viewers were surprised that Emma Rathbone, 32, and James Ord-Hume, 33, managed to make their relationship work after a rocky start
Yes, and most women wouldn’t marry a man they’d just met, either. But despite the unusual circumstances, the day unfolded happily.
‘Overall, it was actually great fun. We danced, we drank, we talked to each other’s friends and family,’ says James. ‘Some friends said it was the best wedding they’d ever been to — everyone had something in common and something to talk about. It was unique.’
Looming over it, of course, was the wedding night at a London hotel, where the newlyweds had been booked into a room with — naturally — a double bed. A double bed covered with rose petals, just to heighten romantic tensions, though instead of falling into each other’s arms on top of the covers the couple dive bombed it instead.
It was the only way, Emma says, to break the tension. ‘We’d been alone for just a matter of minutes before then, so getting into that hotel room for the first time together — well, it was a challenge,’ she says.
‘After that, we popped the champagne, sat on the sofa and had more of a relaxed intimate chat,’ says James. ‘That was the start of getting to know each other.’
They discreetly draw a veil over the subject of whether the marriage was consummated that night — ‘That’s something between man and wife’ is all James will say — but they agree physical attraction was not uppermost when they met.
Jason Knowles and Kate Stewart (pictured together) wed as complete strangers for controversial Channel 4 series Married at First Sight - but split up almost immediately after
‘There wasn’t instant chemistry,’ says James. ‘We wouldn’t necessarily have gravitated towards each other in a bar on a night out.’
It didn’t help either that while James is naturally affectionate, Emma is more reserved, making their four-day honeymoon in Iceland tricky for him to navigate.
James admits this lack of intimacy was something he struggled with. ‘We had a good time, but I’m very tactile, so the fact Emma isn’t like that wasn’t easy.
‘I told myself that just because she wasn’t all over me it didn’t mean she didn’t like me. We were getting on and I felt it was worth getting to know her properly.’
Emma, meanwhile, was trying to work out if the couple would be more than just good friends.
‘I liked him instantly, but part of me thought: “Is he The One or is he just a friend?”
‘We were having great fun because we were on holiday, but I also knew the real test would come when we got back to real life and living together.’
On their return, they moved into a West London flat paid for by Channel 4 for six weeks, after which they had to decide whether to stay together.
They confess it wasn’t easy. ‘It was like our life was on fast forward,’ says James.
There was certainly a lot to discover after the wedding day: that he snores and she is pathologically obsessed with ensuring the toilet seat is put down after use
We’d been on honeymoon then suddenly you’re packing to move in with someone you’d only known for less than a week. We ran through a whole gamut of emotions.’
Emma agrees: ‘It was difficult to begin with. We were sharing a bed, sharing a shower and we had to get to know each other’s daily routine even though we still didn’t really know each other.
‘But in a funny way, having been through this process, we’re able to have difficult conversations quite openly about what irritated us.’
There was certainly a lot to discover: that he snores and she is pathologically obsessed with ensuring the toilet seat is put down after use.
The good stuff, meanwhile, came in discovering their shared values.
‘I said I was looking for someone friendly and fun, driven, who loved to travel, was passionate about their life and what they did and was family-oriented as well,’ says Emma. ‘James is all of those things.’
As a result, they knew fairly early on that they wanted to give the marriage a proper go beyond the six-week ‘test’ period — though they also decided to move out of their shared accommodation to return to their separate London flats.
‘The way I saw it was if this was a normal relationship, at this point we wouldn’t be living together,’ says Emma.
The couple knew fairly early on that they wanted to give the marriage a proper go beyond the six-week ‘test’ period — though they also decided to move out of their shared accommodation to return to their separate London flats to give the relationship a proper go
Most women wouldn’t marry a man they’d just met but despite the unusual circumstances, the couple said that the big day unfolded
happily
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Yes, we were married, but I wanted to go back to dating and to take some pressure off.’
It’s a tactic that seems to have worked — not just for them, but also for the couple who never made it up the aisle.
As revealed in the Mail last month, Sam McDonald and Jack Finn- Kelcey got together once the stress of the programme was over.
Now Emma and James are planning to get their own place together. And James has met her dad. ‘The first meeting was a take-a-deep-breath moment,’ says James. ‘But once her father realised I wasn’t a complete plank, it’s been fine. We talk on the phone now quite happily.’
This does, indeed, sound promising, even if the ‘L’ word has not cropped up yet.
‘I haven’t said to James I love him yet and he hasn’t said that either, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing,’ says Emma. ‘It will happen when the time is right.’
Of course, some might say the real million-dollar question is whether they fancy each other.
‘Of course I fancy him,’ says Emma. ‘Totally,’ says James. So it seems, contrary to expectation, that a leap of faith has paid off, for now at least.
‘What we did was a massive risk,’ says Emma. ‘But the way things have worked out, I genuinely think the way we met will be forgotten in a few years.’
Though if that proves to be the case, who could say whether it is science or simply Lady Luck that is responsible?
From The Daily Mail
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